just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
