is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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