I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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