so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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