I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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