I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
