Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
