I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
