I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
