Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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