I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize