At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize