i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Is it penis luge time yet?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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