can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sex in a hospital.. check
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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