You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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