i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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