My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
