K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
