Girls should come with a carfax report
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
