I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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