Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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