Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
