i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
