Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You can't just leave with hair like that
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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