we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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