Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize