Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
