worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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