ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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