im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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