I want to stick my p in your. b.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We need to rekindle our bromance
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I need water and some morals
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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