in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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