I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize