So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
