I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
