I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
