Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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