I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
