I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
