you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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