I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
