like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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