Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
