I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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