Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
