I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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