can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
