next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
