Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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