Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
