I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
