im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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