will power is for people who don't want to get laid
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
