Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize