I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
