Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
