So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
