brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sry I called you an 8
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so that wasnt chicken after all
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
