we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
