dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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